Sunday, 13 September 2015

Change is good

**WARNING: This is a rather ramble-y post**

Hello my lovelies!

It's been a while! But now I'm back and I have lots to tell you. Keep an eye out for lots of new posts over the next few weeks telling you all about my summer and my future plans... but first let's focus on the here and now. This year has been super tough, I don't know why but I've found everything very challenging. I've had to make a lot of hard decisions and there's been many ups and downs. However, changes and choices have me in a great place and I'm feeling very positive about the year ahead. 

If you read this earlier post, you will know that I was looking for a flat for myself. This is not what I've ended up with at all! I looked at several lovely places and did eventually settle upon a flat that came with a job, but after being messed about a lot by the company I decided to drop the job and therefore lost the flat. In a last minute scramble I have managed to secure a room in my best friends shared student house. It's not ideal, and it's certainly not what I wanted, however I think things are going to be okay. The house is lovely and I know a couple of people living there already so it should all be rather pleasant. Choosing to give up the job I had been offered was so difficult for me, many of you may not know this about me but my financial situation isn't the best. I, like many students, rely solely on my student loan and whatever savings I have. I have no overdraft which means I have to be twice as careful about my spending but I've got myself in a really good position after saving loads of my summer earnings and hopefully I'll be able to get a job during my final year in Chester. 

My grades at the end of last year left me feeling a little deflated, I know I could have done a lot better. However, rather than panicking and worrying about how to pull my grade up, I've decided to take a new approach to my learning. I have three days a week where I need to be in lectures and I shall dedicate at least 3 hours of every day each week towards further reading and study. I've been training myself to be twice as organised and I plan to follow a strict routine in order to help my brain function more efficiently. A lot of my choices regarding uni this year relate to a change in attitude and organisation. I am determined to do better than ever. 

Enough of the blahhhh though, let's focus on the happy things. I have had the best summer with some wonderful people and although I still have lots of difficult decisions to make over the next few months, I have such a great support network of friends and family that I know things are going to be okay. Mentally, I'm very stable and although I'm still having some anxiety episodes, they are no where near at the same level as they were during my first few months of university. I'm really happy with my progress and I'm learning so much about myself with each new day. 

I'm so thankful for all of you. You guys are such wonderful people and you fill me with such happiness. Every time I receive a kind email or a tweet from one of you, it reminds me that I'm not alone in the world and so many of us go through the same things in life. YOU give me hope and that's the best gift anyone could ever give. 

If you are ever having a tough time, feel free to get in touch, all of my contact details are here and you can tweet me directly @tammybecks. If you'd like to share some kind words and positivity with complete strangers, let's use #loveliesspreadthelove whether it's Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. I'll be keeping an eye out for all of you! 

I love you all very much. 

Thank you for sticking with me! 

See you again soon...