Friday, 15 January 2016

#everydayissues: FoMO... Is it really a thing?

Hello my lovelies!

Do you ever feel like you're missing out on things? Maybe that you're not being social enough so you feel like you're not experiencing things that people your age are supposed to experience? I know I do. I feel that way all the time. I guess some might say I have a major fear of missing out - or as it is so often called, FoMO. But I don't fear missing out, I just know that by not doing certain things or going to certain places I'm not going to get to feel and experience something. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. But I never fear it. 

Let's take meeting people as an example. I don't go to places where one might meet a handsome stranger who will ride off in to the sunset with me... or do I? I go in to town, I go to bars, I go to the library and I go to coffee shops. I go to places where there are plenty of people to bump in to. Am I really missing out on finding that Mr Right? No. Does it feel like I am? Yes. You might now be thinking... why? So let me tell you. I feel like I'm missing out on the opportunity to meet someone because I don't go out on the big student nights, I don't go to the SU and I don't go to parties. See where this is heading? I feel like I'm missing out because I don't enjoy doing the things that a lot of other students do, even though I know that if I were to participate in the same things, I certainly wouldn't enjoy it.

I feel like a lot of people who are said to experience FoMO, aren't really missing out. They are experiencing the same problem as myself, simply not wishing to take part in the first place. I do not feel I am missing out until someone tells me that by not participating, I am indeed missing out on meeting someone. This FoMO is the influence of the people around me who do enjoy the things that I do not telling me that my dislike of such things is wrong because it is not the norm. That surely can't be right?! I guess it's a little like peer pressure, not wanting to do something, but feeling like you should because everyone else is doing it and therefore you are expected to also enjoy it. But what if you don't? What if you can't stand it? Would you really be missing out by not going? No, of course you wouldn't. All you would be missing out on is feeling out of place and like you don't want to be there. 

Now in my third year at university, I'm often told I'm missing out. I've learnt to reply by reminding myself that instead of joining in with what everyone else wants to do, I'm taking control. I'm not missing out because I'm doing the things I enjoy, going to the places I like and meeting people who are just like me. I'm no longer a slave to social media where everyone constantly posts about how much fun they're having, instead, I'm having my own fun.

Never be afraid to be yourself, it's the only way you'll discover the things that you will truly fear missing. Give JoMO* a try instead. 

Love you all!

*that's joy of missing out.. way more fun! 

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