Tamsin Rebecca: Anxious Issues: Moving Out

Hello my lovelies!

That's right, it's time for another instalment of anxious issues! And this week I'm all about living away from home. Now, many of you won't know this but I chose to spend sixth form at boarding school in Yorkshire which helped me prepare mentally for living away from my parents when I finally got to Uni. I know how daunting the idea of leaving the comfort of being at home and cared for by your parents can be but it really doesn't have to be all that bad.

Whether you decide to move out for educational purposes or simply because you want to, the idea of leaving everything you know behind can be very scary. Even if you've been fairly independent throughout childhood, when it comes to fending for yourself in the working world you can begin to feel a little like you're drowning in responsibility. You suddenly have to do your own cooking, cleaning, laundry and you have to earn your own money to be able to have the luxuries you were once used to and it seems a little unfair that it can all be so sudden. But you must remember, you're not alone. If you look around you, there are hundreds upon thousands of people who are either going through the same thing or have already and for most people it all works out perfectly fine in the end.

The main reason a lot of people leave home is to go to university but I don't want to spend the entirety of this post talking about that because I have a whole other series dedicated to that very thing. I will, however, point out that going to university can be great for those who are moving out because if you can get a job and earn while at uni and then try and get in to a full time job once you finish your degree it means you can move straight in to a place of your own (sure it may be rented or a small flat, but it's a start in living independently). The educational element of uni can be a good distraction of the fact that you're having to do everything yourself because it keeps you busy but that doesn't mean it's right for everyone and there are always people who commute to uni from home.

For me, it's not so bad being away from my parents because I've had the time to get used to it while in sixth form, however I have had house-mates and friends who have been incredibly homesick and who really struggle with independent living even though they're sharing a house with 5+ other people just like them! Homesickness is something that always puts people off moving out, but it's only natural, especially when you're somewhere you may not necessarily know very well. The idea of leaving your parents to go off on your own adventures is terrifying and it can feel like once you're gone you won't be allowed back even though that is never the case.

We have to face the facts that living with our parents for our entire life just isn't practical. You may want to get in to a career that isn't very big where your family are, or you'll get married and have kids and there won't be the room or maybe you will end up eating away at the family's retirement funds and they'll end up kicking you out (not recommended, that's for sure). Sure, many people live with their family well in to their twenties, but they are earning money or at college and they are often donating funds towards the running of the household which is perfectly fine plus it means you have that little bit longer to be saving money for a really nice home.

I would really like to live on the seafront some day, something I know I don't want to be doing with my parents but rather as an independent woman or with friends. Sure I don't have the money to get the nicest place possible just yet, but I am saving up and it is possible to get loans to help with costs. I suggest that if you wish to move out, you make sure you have at least some money saved up otherwise you aren't going to find anywhere that's really liveable. It's also a good idea that when you initially go off in to the world to find your own place, you choose to do so with one or two people. That way you're not alone and it can be much more cost effective if you have a few people putting money towards the bills. Also, don't expect to be moving straight in to your dream apartment. As a young person you won't have the money for the biggest, swishiest, fanciest house on the block; in fact, you're more likely to find a small flat or apartment that'll suit you fine for a while.

Things you really ought to know before you decide to move out:

1. How to cook - Grab a cook book and start helping out with the meals if you don't already otherwise all the money you earn will go on takeaways and you'll end up regretting things.

2. How to budget - Offer to do the weekly shop and set a target amount as practise. Plan ahead and never get things that aren't on your list to stop yourself from overspending. Also, try and get your head around the idea of paying bills!

3. How to do laundry - Seriously, you don't want your white turning pink! Ask your parents or friends, read the instructions and always separate whites, colours and darks

4. How to keep safe - Tut tut, get your brain out of the gutter! I mean by remembering to lock doors, close windows and use alarm systems if you have them. Don't make things easy for those who do wrong.

5. How to keep things clean - And I don't just mean tidy, I mean properly clean. As in scrubbing the toilet, washing the bathroom, hoovering and dusting everywhere... It's only healthy!

6. How to fix clothes - You won't always be able to go and buy a new top just because there's a hole in it. Grab a needle and thread and learn to sew.

7. How to get up in the morning by yourself - Need I say more?

It is so SO important that when you do find your first place, you understand your rights as a tenant or home-owner and it is recommended that you let your parents/family/friends/people who understand legalities help you out. Never ever sign for somewhere without seeing the property, reading the contract and understanding your rights. You should also think about fire safety, first aid and knowing what to do in an emergency because you will no longer have someone watching over your every move.